On Making Preferences into Rules: The Importance of Analyzing Criticism
Hey Heroes,
Have you thought if you are subconsciously turning your PREFERENCES into RULES?
Being open to different ways of doing things is essential to be an open leader and to lead others into getting out of their comfort zone.
There was a great article on preference the other day. It talked about how, so often, we mistake our preferences for rules. We think that because we like something or would do it a certain way, everyone else should too. This is not only untrue, but it can also lead to some very negative consequences. To be better people and better communicators, we need to learn to analyze our criticism before issuing it. Next time you have an opinion about the way someone did something, ask yourself these questions: Is my preference really a rule? Did the result turn out the same regardless of how it was done? If so, then my criticism is baseless!
It can be tough to break out of the habit of thinking our preference is a rule, but it's worth it. When we learn to analyze our criticism, we become better people and better communicators. We're also more likely to have productive conversations and build constructive relationships. So let's all make an effort to start analyzing our preferences, and see what kind of difference it makes!
Many of us have amounted significant experiences throughout our lives. Those experiences shape how we act, think and we plan. We form preferences and opinions based on those experiences. We hold these preferences as dear to us as rules because we have identified with them as a part of our identity.
But let's be clear: Our preferences are not rules. They may guide our behavior but they should never stand in the way of someone else's experience or preclude them from trying something new.
The next time you're about to issue a correction or tell someone they're doing something wrong, ask yourself whether the result is the same and if so, whether your criticism is coming from a place of really caring about helping the other person or wanting to make your preference a rule. If it is, maybe it's time to let go and let others have their own experiences. After all, we're all different and that's what makes life interesting.
We might not be conscious of criticizing based on preferences and the reality is that the more we are experienced, the less we are open to trying new ways of doing things.
What are your thoughts? Have you ever been on the receiving end of someone making their preferences into rules? How did it make you feel? Has your first response been "why am I being critiqued if the result is the same?"
On the other side of the coin, have you caught yourself disagreeing with the way that something is being conducted and have expected people to hear your "advise" on how to do it "better"? Have you wondered if it is really better or just more adjusted to your expectations or your preferences?
Looking to gain a better understanding of yourself and your motivations? The ADVanced Insights Profile is exactly what you need! This unique report will show you your observable, semi-observable, and non-observable behaviors, giving you a comprehensive view of who you are. With this information in hand, you'll be able to better understand yourself and how to move forward in life with greater clarity and confidence. Don't miss out on this invaluable self-insight - order your ADVanced Insights Profile today! DISC + Motivators + Talents. Check it out here.
Remember: Feel good. Do good. Be good.
